Will You Still Need Me…

24 July 2010, by gj

Part I of III

On the day of my 49th birthday, the start of my 50th year, I decided to mark the upcoming special occasion by doing 5 things.
I felt like turning 50 was a kind of Do-Over Time, a time to change what I wanted to change.
I didn’t know what 5 things, but 5 for the big 5-0 seemed appropriate. Over the next week or two I chose the following:
1. I would learn something new, really really new
2. I would do something totally altruistic
3. I would do something I never thought I could do
4. I would do something I always wanted to, but never did
5. I would take one aspect of my life, and make a leap of faith

Little by little the particulars started to fall into place. The course of the year yielded the following results to each aspect:

1. I would learn something new, really really new
I bought a fiddle and started to teach myself how to play. As a little kid I had a handful of piano lessons from my grandfather, and in college my future husband showed me how to play a few guitar chords. Otherwise I really didn’t play an instrument. But Mandolin did. I thought this would be something we could share. I had no idea that the violin is considered to be the hardest instrument to learn, and I’m glad I didn’t know.

2. I would do something totally altruistic
For my 50th birthday party I threw a fundraiser for a local volunteer fire department: “Hot Wings and Cool Music”. Unfortunately it hit 97 degrees that day and the firehall was not air conditioned. The turn out was light, but all was not lost. The company was throwing a farewell party the next night for one of their members who had enlisted in the service. There was plenty of food and beverages for them to enjoy- and nobody had to cook in the heat. I actually liked that better.

3. I would do something I never thought I could do
At the fundraiser I played a song on my fiddle and sang two songs, in public take note. Just two years before I had directed a musical show at a senior center. I was so shy I didn’t even accept my flowers on stage. When I was in high school I had been in a few of plays and a couple of musical performances, but never got positive feedback. As an adult, I had played a few small parts in dinner shows at our restaurant, against my better judgment (I was so nervous , my hands would shake terribly).
So for me to perform, of my own accord, especially to sing and play an instrument was a giant step. More, as it turned out, than I could have imagined.

4. I would do something I always wanted to, but never did
I got a tattoo.

5. I would take one aspect of my life, and make a leap of faith
I chose my work life. Although I had a good job, I wasn’t happy at it. I thought maybe it was time for a change. An opportunity arose and I interviewed. In total I interviewed three times, as they narrowed the field. I was going to take a leap of faith and let that decide what I would do. As I went through the interview process I realized that I actually did like my job more than I knew. I decided instead of leaving, I would adjust it where I could; adjust ME where I needed to, and make my job one I would like more.
I didn’t see that one coming that’s for sure. I was soo happy when I didn’t get hired! It really ended up being a leap of faith.

Parts II and III coming by 8/1/10

Categories: keeping up with the joneses, special holiday posts

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